The Deep Self

Jim Hodgkinson  is a student of EJ Gold. EJ is the primary founder of IDHHB – the institute for the development of the harmonious human being. His poetry below is a perfect echo of the sentiments of my own Gnostic Isolation Temple, a religious order which uses the isolation tank so that the self can find The Self as opposed to relying a church of group to find the self.

EJ is a polyglot. Master-level artist, musician, author and more. He has written many mind-shattering texts and Jim’s poem was written to a facebook group devoted to studying and actualizing his EJ Gold’s text “Practical Work on Self”:

What does “exile” or “separation” mean?
What feelings does this evoke, if any?
The feelings come first as the
Memories begin to form from
That place you thought you
Had safely buried them.

Six years old I wake up
To the sun shining on the fields
And streams beyond our front gate
The purple mystery of Bluebell Wood
Its dark and musty secrets
My solitary quest for the day.

Different than the rest
Of the kids playing in
The Lane I pause
Enviously looking at
The rowdy swirls of boys and girls,
That I want to join but strangely can’t.

How can attraction and repulsion
Co-exist causing perfect stasis
Wanting to belong
Yet knowing even then
That I don’t
However much the longing.

It never went away
This feeling of being alien to this culture
Of having no connection to my family
Or country or planet
And left with the unanswered
Why?

So here we are.
Loneliness transmuted to
Being alone
A lesson gradually learned
So that the Absolute
May suffer a little less in this small way.

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