Floating has never failed me

There is a wanting in me to achieve Self-knowledge. Therefore, I lose the game. How can you find yourself by wanting to find yourself? You have run right by yourself in the process of trying to find yourself. This is vanity but a hard to find vanity.

Now, floating has never failed me. But I have failed to take it to the next level. So far, my wins have been primarily physical… but they are great physical wins. I have had a few mental wins… managing to drop out of injecting 400 million “I” thoughts into this body per millisecond.

I read “Reality in 40 Versions” Ulladu Narpadu and want the end result.. NOW! But don’t realize that wanting is a form of tension and only relaxing and allowing gets me to what I want. In fact, I cant get to what I want.

I wonder why I would do weekend long Buddhist retreats and not give the same respect to floating? Buddhism is man-made… by Gautama. The Arunachala ashrama system is man-made, by Maharshi. The float tank is man-made by John Christopher Lilly. A controlling belief is at work — milliions of people do these other systems. These other systems are “traditional”.. they are closer to the beginning. They come from a less materialistic society. It is amazing the number of things I use to make those other man-made systems right and floating unacceptable.

“Your goal is to make your mind silent”

Acharya Kedar

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